Growing up my brothers and I had standard jobs. Daily I had to set the table, Brad cleared, Phil did dishes. On Saturdays I was responsible for cleaning both bathrooms and mopping the kitchen. In there as well was the general keep your room cleaned (I was the worst) and make your bed (rarely did).
Mark, well, he grew up taking out the trash…sometimes. (My MIL will totally cop to not making her kids do many chores.)
I will cop to the fact that I did not start my kids doing chores early enough. Part of that is my total inability to delegate because I’m a perfectionist and would rather just do things my way. The other part was trying to figure out what kind of chores a 3 year old could do.
But several years ago I finally got into the groove of finding things to do. Partially helped by the fact that Natalie loved to clean when she was little. I would give her a sponge when she was 3 and let her go to town on the walls, cabinets, etc. Amazingly, kids are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for. And yes, I’ve had to let my standards go a little but I’ve learned that the trade-off (i.e. HELP) is worth it.
Over the years I’ve tried tons of different systems and techniques with the kids and chores. Making charts and using stickers, assigning things to different kids for a week.
And it’s always a total bust. Because, for as organized as I am, I am not a chart kind of person.
It was completely freeing to finally realize that flexibility was the key to our household chore system.
The following things are expected of our four kids (11, 10, 9 & 7) always:
- get your own breakfast in the morning, clear your dishes and put food away (the kids cups/plates are color coded so I can tell who hasn’t cleared their stuff 🙂
- make their lunch (I usually do their sandwiches, they just add the snacks that are all kept in one large basket in the cupboard)
- clear dinner dishes
- pick up anything that they got out that needs to be put away
- put dirty clothes in the laundry basket
- on laundry day (usually Saturday) fold/hang up their clothes and put them away
Throughout the day as other needs arise – unloading/loading the dishwasher, wiping off tables, sweeping, wiping counters, etc – I just say “Hey ________, please unload the dishes.” It might be that one kid is done with homework before all the others – perfect. Or whoever was first out of the shower at night has extra time.
I try to rotate it around as best I can but frankly I’m not that concerned that Noah did a certain chore twice this week and Natalie did it four times. Life’s not fair, better they get use to it now 🙂
And the kids have learned that if they complain they’re liable to pull another job.
Then on the weekends (and not even every weekend) we have cleaning time were I will assign each child a job. When they are done with that job they come to me and ask for the next job. This is how we accomplish cleaning bathrooms, dusting, vacuuming, emptying all the trash cans, cleaning the playroom, cleaning rooms, etc.
Some of them get done faster than others (i.e. Luke) because they work hard and accomplish 3 jobs while the other kids are on job #1. That child usually gets an early reprieve.
So what kind of a chore system do you have?
Abi (5) has 5 weekly chores, some happen daily, like setting the table, feeding the dog, and feeding the cats. Getting her room made up for the day (bed made etc) is also daily but keeping it picked up in general is on an as-needed basis. Then the 5th job was to clean the toilets, because some things have changed for the moment the 5th one is to vaccum (small sweeper type vaccuum) up cat hair as needed, which she things is so fun that sometimes it seems to be a bit more often than as needed.
Eli (2.5) doesn’t have chores yet. I think we will start when he is 3, that’s when we started with Abi. He will probably aquire the feed the cats chore at least, not sure what else now or what will replace that with Abi.
FYI: then we pay Abi 5 $1 bills and have started getting her used to Giving, Saving and Spending thanks to Dave Ramsey.
Julie,
Do you remember how you begged me to let you mop? I resisted for awhile, thinking that you wouldn’t do it to suit me, but finally your persistent begging paid off and I said, “Yes”. You covered every part of the floor about 5 times, you were having so much fun; it was very, very, very clean! I continued to let you mop, but you tired of it pretty shortly; it was no longer so mysterious or or challenging to you, I guess. You were probably 4 years old, less than age 5, I’m sure.
I went to some Sat. morning women’s church function during your mopping career; afterward Jan S & I were talking about going home to clean house. I told Jan that I’d left you home mopping and your friend Rachel S heard it. (Do you remember her?) She immediately tugged at her mom saying, ” I keep asking if I can mop; if Julie gets to do it then why can’t I!” I think Jan was considering it when I left.
See what a privileged kid you were!
Love, Mom
Life here is different at the moment, with Eric working in Brazil for an indefinite amount of time, so I implemented a chore system that would remove the “complaining” I would hear from the kids. Stein (10) and Kari (7) both have the same charts on the fridge and it is their responsibility to mark what they have done for the day. Each line item is worth anywhere from 10 cents to $2 for something as silly as “I stopped an argument” to “I cleared my dishes without Mom reminding me” to “scooping the cat litter” and “taking out the garbage.” It has totally helped my sanity and they both learn the value of earning a dollar.
I started my kids doing chores when they were 3. My kids get 5 chores of their choosing each weekend. The high schoolers get 10. They do laundry, take out the trash, sweep the porch, etc. If they consistently do a chore poorly, then they can’t choose that one anymore. Any chores accomplished beyond the required 5 earns them $.25 per chore. Sometimes they do 5 and sometimes they do 30 depending on if they are saving up for something they want to buy.
Sun Hee – love the idea of including some “character” type things on the checklist.
Landio – I have friends that do the opposite. If you do the chore poorly you keep it until you can learn to do it right! They had one child doing laundry for SEVERAL weeks.
Being completely honest here… we’re still trying to figure this whole thing out! I’m taking all suggestions into consideration right now :o)
I love your blog name and wish I had thought of it myself! I too am a mom of 6, 2 by adoption(domestic).
I am an expectant Aunt of 2 children from Ethiopia and just can’t wait.
Thanks for sharing your blog!
I don’t like charts much either but I have gone to a simple chart. We have four main chores the kids take turns at, ages 14, 11, 10, 8. Feeding/cleaning after dog, Feeding/cleaning after cat, Loading dishwasher, and unloading dishwasher. They each take a week and then it rotates. The two doing dishes, rotate to a pet next so they get an easier chore every other week. They are also responsible for cleaning own rooms, putting dirty clothes in laundry, making beds, putting clean clothes away, making own breakfast and clearing/rinsing their own dishes. On weekends (but not every weekend) they clean bathrooms, 2 in each bathroom and they have to change sheets on their beds once a month. The rest of the chores are just whatever needs to be done, I ask them to do it, like folding laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, helping with dinner, etc. I still haven’t been able to let the perfectionist in me let them wash clothes. That was one thing I was going to teach the older kids this summer. I just couldn’t do it. I agree though about just calling whoever is done with homework or ready for bed, etc. Life isn’t always fair and sometimes you have to pull the extra weight for someone else.
Oh we do the same thing with the complaining or not doing the chore right. They get to do it longer until it is done right. Then the other child who gets that chore the next week gets a free ride and doesn’t have to do it because they are still doing that chore plus the next week’s chore.