Since November is National Adoption Month I’m writing a daily series on “30 Things I Know About Adoption.”
I was the one who stayed up until 1 a.m. reading adoption Yahoo group posts.
I was the one who blogged every tiny detail of our adoption process.
I was the once who tried to predict what size clothes our kids would be wearing and stock the closets.
I was the one who…
Well the list could go on.
But it seemed like our adoption consumed my thoughts every waking minute of my life. I never tired of talking about it. (Though I may have tired of answering questions.)
My husband, not so much.
It’s not that he wasn’t invested, wasn’t excited, wasn’t helping plan and prepare. He was.
But, let’s face it, women are wired differently.
During pregnancy we’re literally carrying around the reminder that our life is about to change dramatically. The indigestion, weight gain and swollen ankles make it a little hard not to think about that new life about to be brought forth.
Somehow, I think God allows us to go through that same kind of thing during the adoption process. Just without the ever-expanding waistline.
The danger, however, is in not including our husband in our thoughts. We may fear that he’s tired of hearing every thought that goes through our head during the day. I also knew the emotional roller coaster I was on and wasn’t sure he really wanted, or needed, to get on the ride with me.
So I had multiple outlets so my husband didn’t have to bear the weight of all those THOUGHTS:
- Friends – some who were adopting, some who weren’t
- Online groups – you have to find the right ones
- Blogging – my regular mind dump that serves as a great history record as well
How do you deal with all of the thoughts, questions, and fears that consume you during the adoption process?
Ahhhh. I SO needed this today. Sometimes I feel a little resentment toward my husband because it seems as though he doesn’t care as much. I KNOW that’s not the case! Like you said, he’s just wired differently. When I hear him pray for our daughter who waits for us in China, I can hear his heart and his love for her…he’s just not consumed with it every waking moment like I am…which is a good thing because one of us has to work and make a living! Haha! It’s nice to know that we are “normal” and that I’m not the only one who feels this way! I’ve met several precious “friends” through FB groups and that has been a wonderful outlet so I’m not driving my sweet hubby insane with my constant thoughts and questions.