I thought I would share my list of songs that have helped me through these times of discouragement and darkness. Some are new and so technically I didn’t listen to them in the midst of my depression, but they still speak to me.

While you may not be suffering from depression, everyone goes through a down period at some point in your life. Maybe these songs will be able to minister to you as well.

No One Else Knows by Building 429 (Lyrics) (Video)
The Real Me by Natalie Grant (Lyrics) (Video)
Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns (Lyrics) (Video)
Everlasting God by Lincoln Brewster (Lyrics)  (Video)
You Carried Me by Building 429 (Lyrics) (Video)
When the Tears Fall by Newsboys (Lyrics) (Video)
Psalm 73 (My God’s Enough) by Barlow Girls (Lyrics) (Video)
Amazed by Building 429 (Lyrics)

If you have other songs that you think should be on hear, leave a comment. I’d love to hear them.

Last week hubby was talking with me and one of the ladies in our church who is a counselor, in preparation for last week’s message on depression – getting ideas, etc.

Meloney used this awesome illustration of "The Well". She said that some people are so far down in the well that they cannot see the light, they cannot imagine a way out and they have no hope. Those people need medication to help them begin to come up out of the well – to begin to see the light before other methods of treatment for depression will begin to work.

That was me. I honestly don’t think that I could have pulled out of the depression without medication. I know there is some controversy in Christian circles about medication for mental issues (don’t even get me started on Tom Cruise), but I don’t see how it’s any different than someone suffering from cancer. God has gifted individuals with skills to make amazing medical advancements. Who are we not to use every tool provided?

Along with the medication my doctor told me to start seeing a counselor which I did for a period of about 6 months. I did a lot of journaling during that time, a lot of examining of all the things going on in my life and I really did re-prioritize a lot of stuff.

A couple of other things that I either used at the time or have learned since then that help (besides prayer):

1. Exercise – I am bad about staying disciplined in this area but when I exercise regularly I feel so much better about myself, my energy level is up and research has shown a direct link between exercise and depression. It raises the seratonin levels in the brain which is what anti-depressants do as well.

2. Get Involved/Stay Involved – For me, I was already involved in other things when the depression hit. I was a church nursery coordinator, we hosted a home team, etc. My natural tendency was to pull back and withdraw from those things. But it was the times where I was doing something for someone else (especially the nursery) that I would forget about myself and the issues I was dealing with. So if you’re not involved in helping other people somehow, do it.

This is not to be confused with doing too much. I also pulled out of some less important things.

3. Journal – Specifically I did a lot of journaling about things I had to be grateful for – even small things. When I was worn out and overwhelmed with doing the umpteenth load of laundry I would stop and say "God, thank you for providing nice clothes for my family…and a washing machine and dryer."

4. Talk About It – Reach out to those around you and let them know what is going on in your life. Your true friends will not judge you or turn their back on you. They may not know exactly what to do or what to say but just having people around you that can help carry the burden is a huge thing.

5. Worship Music – Music has always been a big part of my life and I love finding a song that I really connect with. There are so many great praise and worship songs out there. Tomorrow I’ll post a list of songs that have especially spoken to me.

If you’ve gone through depression and have other things that helped you, please share them.

So here, it is…the story of my journey through depression. Of course this is the condensed-made-for-Sunday-morning-TV version.

So first watch the video, then come back and read the in-between part of my story.

Depression Testimony Video

Back? Okay.

So it took a minimum of 6 months of misery before I had that “revelation” that I talk about in the video. It was at that point that I finally began to share with those around me what was going on – Mark, Kristen, Stacey. To this day, none of those 3 people probably knew the whole story, or the depth of it. It was something that I had never really put into words until preparing this testimony.

Turns out Kristen had been experiencing similar things and was already on meds. I think in talking to her I finally realized that “Yes, this might actually be depression.” Before, I had written that word off. I thought that because I was functioning that I couldn’t possibly be that bad off. WRONG! I’m apparently, just amazingly stubborn.

So I finally went to see my doctor who, God bless her, happens to have a real interest in psychiatric medicine so, while it wasn’t her specialty she was very well versed. She went through the list of questions that went something like this…

• Have you lost interest in normal daily activities and/or hobbies you enjoy?
• Do you have crying spells? Feel sad or hopeless?
• Do you have trouble sleeping or want to sleep too much?
• Do you have trouble concentrating and making decisions?
• Do you have an increased or decreased appetite?
• Are you restless, agitated, irritable and easily annoyed?
• Do you have less interest in sex?

Yes, yes, yes….

The only question I said no to was “Have you had thoughts of suicide?” I think my actual response was, “Are you kidding? And leave my husband to take care of the kids alone? They’d eat cheese crisps every day for the rest of their lives.” (Moment of humor to break up the tears that were flowing by that point. I’m sure if something does ever happen to me they’ll be fine – he does know how to make other stuff.)

I was diagnosed with clinical depression and put on anti-depressants. We talked a bit about my family history. My paternal grandmother dealt with depression – I remember several severe episodes growing up.

Luckily Wellbutrin seems to work faster than some of the other drugs that can take a couple of weeks before you see an improvement. I remember waking up one Saturday morning about 3 or 4 days after my doctor’s appt. I got in the shower and all of a sudden it dawned on me – I was actually in a good mood. (Well as good a mood as I can have in the morning). It was amazing and I felt such a huge sense of relief.

It still took me a couple of months to tell the rest of the family about my depression. Friends too. It’s one of those things that’s kind of hard to just work into conversation. “Hi, how are you?” “Good now that I’m on anti-depressants.” See what I mean? AWKWARD!

I was on meds for about two years before I weaned off of them. I’ve been back on them once since then. I can spot the warning signs now and that helps.

So this is already really long, so I’ll be back with another post about some of the things that helped me as I was coming out of the depression.
…….

On a completely shallow note one of the first things I thought when the video started to play for the first time was “Dang, my hair looks GOOD!” (Go Jen!) And just for the record I’ve had like 4 other people tell me that too, so it’s not just me being vain 🙂