Julie Gumm - Author

When Dad Departs, Dogs Die

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Two years ago Mark went on his very first trip to Africa. A day before he got back our beloved basset hound Snickers died. She was old (13) but had not been ill so it was somewhat of a surprise. I was here alone to deal with the heartbroken kids and all of the details. I still get grief over the fact that I forked over an extra $60 to have her ashes returned.

Since then we have still had Winston, a 15 year old cocker spaniel who technically is my in-laws dog. They kept Snickers for us about 5 years ago while we sold a house, moved and installed landscaping – a 18 month process. When we reclaimed Snickers, we inherited Winston as well. It didn’t seem right to separate the two friends. They made a good pair. Snickers was half blind and Winston was pretty much deaf.

We have had an ongoing joke whenever Mark leaves the country that the dog will probably die while he’s gone.

I’m not laughing anymore.

Mark left on Sunday morning for almost 2 weeks in Ethiopia. Monday night while I was watching TV Winston began to make strange and pitiful noises. There were no apparent injuries that I could tell. He was walking around some and drinking but wouldn’t eat. It was so sad. I called my MIL and told her “I think your dog is dying.”

Now I understand some people might have rushed her off to the vet but honestly, it was 10 p.m. at night and I was not getting 4 kids out of bed and dragging them with me, much less paying for emergency vet care for a dog who’s time had come. I remembered that we had some pain pills from a sore she had a year ago. I wrapped it in some bread and tried to get her to take it but she wouldn’t.

In the morning she was still alive, still making random sad noises. The kids all asked what was going on and so I had to explain to them that Winston was probably very sick and that MeeMaw was going to come and take her to the vet today. “Is she going to die?” Natalie asked with tears brimming in her eyes.

“Sweetie, I think it might be time. I don’t know if the vet will be able to do anything for her and if he can’t, they’ll put her to sleep.”

Noah was the most upset but I had tears from Natalie and Beza too. I knew Beza would be thinking about her dog in Ethiopia who she talks about sometimes. Luke didn’t seem to care or see what the big deal is. I guess he’s not a dog person.

After I dropped the kids at school I went by to get some dog shampoo so I could try to clean Winston up. He hadn’t had his summer grooming yet and had gotten in the mud several days ago. I was afraid the vet would call doggy CPS on us.

When I returned, he was laying in the same spot he was in when we had left, dead.

I called my MIL. Her cousin was at her house and so he volunteered to come out with her, get the dog and bury him back on their land where he’s buried several dogs. I was glad I didn’t have to explain the whole “cremation” thing to the kids again.

There were more tears that afternoon when I picked them up from school and told them. Noah was the most upset.

They seem okay now. Haven’t mentioned him much since then.

So either Mark doesn’t travel anymore, or we go dogless. I vote for the latter.

Book Review: Addition by Adoption

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Laughs, Memories and Inspiration

I’m a sucker for a good adoption story. Combine that with the brevity of Twitter and numerous laughs provided by his now 4-year old daughter, and you have Kevin Hendricks latest book “Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 Characters.”

When I first began following Kevin’s blog and Twitter feed it was because of his writing on church marketing, my profession at the time. But a few months after the Hendricks embarked on their adoption journey, my family began traveling the same road that would eventually lead us to the same destination – Ethiopia.

“Addition by Adoption: Kids, Causes & 140 Characters” cleverly weaves 19 months of Kevin’s tweets into a heart warming and funny look into the life of a work-at-home dad, a Sesame Street-loving four year old and their family’s journey to adopt a baby boy.

In between laughing (often out loud) at Lexi’s antics, I experienced waves of nostalgia as I remembered feeling the same emotions conveyed in Kevin’s book during the different steps in our adoption process.

I was also relieved to find out that I am not the only parent who sometimes feels it necessary to hide behind closed doors and eat large amounts of chocolate in order to regain sanity.

Like many adoptive parents, the Hendricks journey to Ethiopia changed more than just their family structure, it changed their focus. “We embraced other causes and the realities of Ethiopia began to have their subtle affect us on us,” Hendricks says.  His book details his Bald Birthday Benefit which raised money for charity:water and his efforts to bring attention to the plight of homelessness.

The book itself continues their families theme of helping others by donating a portion of the proceeds to fund a clean water well in Ethiopia. By buying a copy you get a great book and get to chance someone’s life.

Available for pre-order April 13-20th here. (More $ goes to charity:water w/ pre-order…plus Lexi will autograph it.)

“No New Clothing Challenge”

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So a few days ago I wrote this post about purging the kids summer clothes to 10 shirts and 10 shorts each.

And then Mark went on the record and said “I’m game for the 10 item challenge if you are?”

I said “Hang on!”

From there we launched into a pretty interesting conversation. But I need to backtrack a little here and give you a bit more info…for clarity sake.

My dear husband is a bit of a, ahem, “collector”. But he is a frugal collector – other than maybe a pair of jeans I don’t think I’ve seen him buy clothes anywhere but a thrift store in the last 5 years. He gets excited about the hunt for the bargain and the deal and before you know it he had 77 polo-style shirts.

Yes, I counted them. I harassed him about that fact, mostly in loving fun, for…well a long time. From time to time he weeds out some clothes here and there but I would venture to say that he has more individual pieces of clothing than I do.

So the other night when we were talking about excess and need and the issue of the kids clothes came up and I was trying to explain to him why I was hesitant to accept the 10 item challenge.

You see it’s not just excess that bugs me, it’s “waste”. The kids had tons of clothes that they never wore. Why am I packing and unpacking them every season if they never wear them? They just take up room in the drawers which are never organized anyways. The kids complain that they can’t find room for their clean clothes and blah, blah, blah.

Of Mark’s 77 polo shirts there were probably 15 that he wore on a regular basis.

The fact that there is stuff we don’t use taking up space is what makes me CRAZY!

My clothing collection, on the other hand is regularly culled for clothes that are faded, no longer fit well or that I just no longer wear. When I shop for new clothes I shop the thrift stores, the discount chains like Ross and the clearance racks of places like Old Navy.

So in the midst of our discussion Mark pointed out that he hasn’t bought any new clothes in a LONG time. And he’s right – it’s been months since he picked up any clothing in the thrift store.

Then he challenged me on my new clothing purchases and how much I spend. I stopped and thought and told him that honestly I don’t think (besides birthday gift cards) that I have spent more than $350 in the last year on clothes.

“SEE, you could buy an iphone with the money you saved,” he said.

“But you won’t LET me buy an iphone because you won’t pay AT&T’s plan prices.”

Then he laid down the gauntlet.

“If you go a whole year without buying any new clothes I will buy you an iphone.”

He’s up for the same challenge. I think he thinks I can’t do it.

(Now, later he went back and added a caveat, lest Dave Ramsey disapprove, that it will be a used iphone that he’ll unlock for me to use w/ T-mobile. Although I heard a rumor that iphone might be offered through Verizon in June.)

I asked if I had to wait the whole year for the phone and he hasn’t decided yet. I say that if I go 3 months (which would put us at June) I should get the phone then.

So we’re still working out the rules, thanks to some Facebook friends but here’s what we’ve got so far.

  • Buying clothes for the kids does not count, it is only clothes for us.
  • Shoes count too.
  • Not sure about purses but I’m guessing he’ll say yes.
  • We may purchase ABSOLUTELY necessary items – socks, underwear, etc. w/ agreement from the other party that they are necessary.

We still have a few rules to work out. Like are alterations acceptable (cutting pants into shorts, etc.). I think they should be as long as I’m altering with items already on hand.

So we’re going to iron out the details but here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to invite you to join me! Maybe you’ll want to take the money you would normally spend on clothes and donate it to a worthy organization like World Orphans, Charity Water, World Vision, Compassion, etc. I’ll even make up cute little blog badges for us and we can blog about our ups and downs.

What do you say? Will anybody join me?