Part of the November series “30 Things I Know About Adoption.”
I lovingly call them Adoption Super Families. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that have adopted 4, 5 and 6 times. Their family size is in the double digits and the don’t even fit in the Ford Econoline any more.
And they’re amazing. Love them. Know many of them.
But here’s the truth.
This family that we have, this life that we have, it’s all we can handle right now.
And, if you suggest, even politely that “I can handle all things with Christ,” I will drop-kick you into next week.
Believe me, if God threw a neon sign up tomorrow that said “Julie & Mark, you must adopt again” we’d gear up and do it. It could even written on cardboard with a mostly-dried up Sharpie. We’d still obey.
But short of that?
It’s just the six of us. Two adults, four kids, one adoption. We’re learning and always striving to be better parents, but with the current needs of our children, adding any more would be to the detriment of the others.
As strongly as I believe that, I still used to feel guilty. After all, there are so many children that need families. Was it wrong NOT to adopt again?
One day I was discussing James 1:27 with someone and talking about Christ’s call to care for orphans.
“That doesn’t mean that every Christian HAS to adopt,” I told the person. “There are lots of ways to care for orphans, widows and the needy.”
The proverbial light bulb went off, and I realized that then that also meant that not every Christian needs to adopt multiple times.
Adoption is where we started, but our orphan care journey has taken a much wider road since 2007. Mark now works in full time ministry helping develop the spiritual empowerment program for Ethiopian foster families in Ethiopia. We help fund other’s adoptions. There’s my book and helping other families adopt without the huge financial burden of debt.
It’s still orphan care. It’s still about families.
Just once is okay.
Guilt should never be the reason you adopt – the first time or the sixth time.